Chapter 13

And since it's the long weekend - and because some sexy time was overdue, heh heh - chapter 13 too!

I was glad that I'd done a little shopping while we'd been in Ottawa so I had something to wear he hadn't seen before. The only problem was, I couldn't choose.

"The red or the black?" I asked, holding up first the little red asymmetrical one shoulder number and then presenting the more understated, black chiffon, tea length halter dress. Kess tilted his head first to one side and then the other.

"I'd say the red one, which probably means you should wear the black one," he replied finally from his vantage point lounging in the middle of my bed. I hung the red one back up in the closest and held the black one up again.

"Shoes?" I asked, happy enough with the dress decision to wonder what shoes would look best and if I should leave my hair down or go with a more sophisticated up-do.

"I suppose if I say your thigh highs you'll be pissed?" I sent a dark look Ryan's way and he smirked. "Leopard print wedges?" he suggested with a sigh. I was about to dismiss the idea entirely but then  remembered the matching bracelet I had. If I added those pieces would it say that I wasn't taking this date seriously enough? Or would it say that I was willing to have fun, that I wasn't pushing for too much all at once?

"Leopard print, I like it," I said quietly, carefully hanging the dress up and reaching for my jewellery box. I dug out the bracelet and found a pair of faux coffee diamond hoops to go with it.

As I started to shimmy out of my jeans I caught Kess watching me out of the corner of my eye and he looked…well, he looked abandoned, like a little kid you find in the middle of the mall who's wandered away from his mom.

"Ry?" I asked quietly, kicking my jeans aside and crawling onto the bed, stretching myself out beside him. He shook his head and picked at the comforter. "Ry Ry," I teased, dragging my fingernails lightly along his arm. He wrinkled his nose. I don't know why that bitch at the All Stars called him that. He hates it.

"I know we said…I said we'd help you and…y'know, him get together," he made a face and stopped, scootching down onto his back and tucked me against his side. I put my hand flat in the middle of his chest and he put his bigger hand over mine, pulling it up over his heart. "Just…promise me that you won't forget the rest of us when you're all…lovie dovie with Mr. New York firefighter calendar boy." I smiled up at him. It was so rare that Kess let anyone see him vulnerable and I felt my heart get all marshmallow soft and gooey knowing how much he meant what he'd just said and what it cost him.

"I've told him I won't stop doing this," I assured him, snuggling as close as I could. He scissored his legs over mine and wrapped his big arms around me until I was literally his prisoner.

"Promise that I won't have to like…wait my turn," he grunted, his hands moving down to cup my ass through my lacy panties.

"Only sometimes," I teased just so he'd spank me. He couldn't get a good swing from this angle but the sharp tap let me know he meant business. I giggled and squirmed to get free, which was futile.

"I wanna be happy for you guys but I still want to fuck you through the mattress," he admitted. My body tingled and I rubbed my thighs together, trying not to whimper.

"Mmm, you know I want you to," I sighed as he rolled me onto my back and pressed me down beneath him. Right at that moment, with his biceps straining as he held me down and the proof of his desire rubbing against my stomach, I wanted nothing more than to prove to him that he could still make me want him as much as I always had but it didn't seem right. Not before the date anyway.

"Maybe after?" I squeaked, sticking out my bottom lip. Ryan stilled, staring down at me and ducked his head to nip at my pout. "Ryan…"

"Fine!" he sighed and rolled off of me. "But you're not having sex with him tonight," he added, pointing at me sternly. "If you're having a real relationship then don't go giving the milk out for free because you know what they say about free milk?"

"Oh my god mom, okay, I'll make sure he puts a fucking deposit on the cow first, sheesh!"

"Quick! How do I look?" It felt like prom night all over again, especially the moment that Kess reached over to turn down the sound on the TV and turn around to look at me. It was like having my dad in the room knowing his little princess was about to have the best night of her life.

"You look…amazing," Ryan said slowly, the expression in his eyes soft as a smile slowly pulled at the corners of his mouth. "Too good for him though, so let's pick something else out," he added his approving smile changing into a playful smirk.

"Too late," I giggled as a heavy set of knuckles rapped on the door a second time. Kess grumbled dramatically and followed me to the door. My heart was literally racing as I reached out to put my hand on the doorknob.

"Here, let me," Kess offered softly, putting his hand over top of mine. Gratefully I stepped back and let him open the door.

I've always considered a man who looks good in a suit to be especially handsome but not all hockey players can pull off the look successfully regardless of how much it cost. If he doesn't get it tailored to sit just so across his mile-wide shoulders and if they don't take out some of the padding he will only end up looking like a linebacker. If they don't taper the jacket to emphasize his narrow waist he will look like he pulled down his mother's curtains and wrapped them around himself. Worse than that, if they don't make his pants specifically for him, they will look like they're bursting at the seams.

Chris looked like he'd stepped out of the pages of GQ or right off a billboard for Yves St. Laurent in a twilight blue suit with a soft looking grey t-shirt underneath it. He had just the right amount of five o'clock shadow, which I knew would be deliciously rough under my fingertips. I was suddenly in danger of melting into a puddle of my own drool.

"Wow," he said softly, his gaze slowly travelling up from my shoes, pausing for a long moment at my cleavage before finally making its way up to my face. "You look beautiful, Pen."

"Yes she does and just to be clear, she turns into a pumpkin at midnight, so have her back on time." Chris blinked past me at Kess and I could tell he wasn't sure if his Assistant Captain was kidding or not. He glanced to me and must have recognized something in my face that told him Ryan was dead serious.

"Okay, well then…let's get going," he said softly, holding his hand out towards me. I stared at his hand, marvelling at how thick his fingers were. A shudder ran straight down my spine and made the walls of my pussy clench.

"You upset her, I'll break every single one of your fingers," Kess hissed at him. Chris's eyes got a little wide and I dug a less than subtle elbow into Ryan's stomach.

"Heard and understood," Chris nodded and I put my hand in his. I watched his fingers close around mine and my knees nearly gave.

"So…where are we going?" I asked once we were finally alone in the safety of the elevator.

"How about you let me worry about that," he said softly, turning me towards him, his free hand lifting to gently caress my cheek. "You look…you take my breath away," he whispered then leaned in and brushed his lips over mine. If he did that again I was going to have to go back inside and change my panties. 

"Where are we going?" I asked for the second or maybe it was the third time. Chris looked across the interior of the sleek, low sports car and smiled.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" he chided me and then let his gaze slide down over my cleavage and down to where my hands where folded in my lap. I followed his gaze down and realized that somehow I'd gotten my hands all twisted up in the fabric, worrying at it. "I won't bite…much," he promised, reaching for one of my hands. I gave it to him and watched his fingers thread through mine. We'd already headed past Howe and Dunsmuir, across Georgia and away from most of the restaurants I knew the guys liked to frequent. "So impatient," he teased, lifting the back of my hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to each of my knuckles before giving me my hand back and putting the car in gear.

The car leapt away from the red light and growled like a hungry wolf as it dove towards the exit that would take us into the Park. Ah, the Teahouse I thought and sat back with a satisfied smile but he drove past that too and, eventually, headed for the bridge.

"No, seriously, where are we going?" I asked again. Chris laughed and shook his head. He really wasn't going to tell me.

"Why don't you put some music on? Maybe that will distract you," he suggested. I looked for a radio but there were only knobs for climate control. "Here," he reached for my hand again and put it down on a knob on the centre consul. Pressing it brought up a menu where I could choose between radio stations, multiple cd's or an iPod. Chris's iPod. 

I scanned the available playlists. Workout, Pre-game, Post Game Win, Post Game Loss, On the Road, Party Mix and last but not least, there was a playlist entitled Romance. Grinning I chose that playlist and hit shuffle.

"Make You Feel My Love" by Adele filled the car and I sat back and watched him, waiting for him to react. A smile played at the corners of his lips but it was the look in his eyes when he turned them towards me that made my breath catch at the back of my throat.

"Good choice," he said quietly, his gaze lingering on my mouth before he turned his attention back to the road. I bit back a whimper and decided that it was safer and increased the likelihood of making it through dinner without jumping if I did the same.

When he aimed the car's nose up the hill towards Cypress Bowl though, I had to ask, again.

"You know this isn't Grouse right? There's no restaurant up Cypress," I told him. That toothy, boyish grin of Higgy's appeared, the one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle.

"I know what I'm doing," he told me quietly, "or don't you trust me?" I stared at him, at his wide sensuous mouth and his summer sky blue eyes and I didn't know how to answer that question. I wanted him, no doubt. I wanted to kiss every inch of his skin and have him ravage me, but trust… I wasn't quite there yet. "That's okay," he said before I could say it out loud, returning his now more serious gaze to the road, "you'll see soon enough."

The car leaned into the next switchback and then rounded the corner past the first parking lot and edged up towards the peak. I frowned. It wasn't quite full dark yet, but it would be soon and this, for kids who lived on the North Shore, was a major make out point. The promise Kess had forced from me replayed in my head.

"Chris…," I began and winced at the whine in my voice.

"Jesus, relax Pen," he chuckled. Reaching back into the worthless back seat he tugged on a blanket I hadn't noticed. Beneath it was an old fashioned picnic basket. I stared at the basket and then at him, more than a little surprised.

"A picnic? A real, honest to god picnic?" I asked. He nodded and tilted his head to one side.

"Is that alright with you?"

I nodded, ducking my head as I felt my cheeks warming with pleasure. "Yes… this is… yes. It's good," I grinned and he grinned right back at me.

"Good," he nodded, the expression in his eyes softening again. "I want to impress you and I know some of the other guys have already taken you to all the best spots in town so…I improvised."

"I like the way you improvise," I said a little breathlessly.

"Good," he repeated and pulled the car into the observation point and parked right in the middle of what I realized was a completely vacant parking lot. It was the beginning of February and it was cold but there was no reason for it to be completely empty.

"How'd you do this?" I asked, craning my neck to look behind us.

"Oh, I have my ways," he said cagily as he pulled the key from the ignition and turned towards me. "There are more benefits to being a Canuck than just having the sexiest Specialist in the league…although that's still probably the best one."   He reached to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear and I leaned into his hand. I wanted to kiss him, with every bone in my body I wanted to climb across the center consul and into his lap but there was something I needed to know first.

"What's changed? What made you change your mind?" I asked, that ball of emotion growing in my throat again, making it hard to ask the question. One corner of his full mouth turned up as the pad of his thumb stroked my cheekbone.

"A man can only fight wanting a woman as beautiful and as sexy as you for so long," he whispered, his gaze holding mine like he was daring me not to believe him. "That, and knowing that sleazebag Price had been hitting on you for three days running…well, let's just say that I decided I was pretty stupid if he got to have you before I did." It was good, no doubt about it, but the devil on my shoulder leaned in and reminded me that it wasn't exactly a ringing endorsement of my position with the team or a complete reversal of his previous position.

"I'm not quitting," I said quietly and his smile got a little sad as he nodded.

"I know," he replied, the pad of his thumb stopped at the corner of my mouth, "but I don't want to lose you and I was losing you so…so if I only get part of you…I'll try if you will."

And there it was.

My heart literally stopped and tears filled my eyes. I nodded, unable to say anything without sobbing like a big baby. "Wanna dance?" he asked.

"What?" I asked shakily, frowning at him.

Chris tilted his head to the side and then reached over and turned up the volume. The Pogues "I'll Love You `Til the End" was playing. "Will you dance with me, Penny?"

"Yeah," I whispered and he grinned, brushed his lips over mine and then was slipped out of the car only to reappear beside me to pull open the passenger side door.

It was gray and drizzling but when he took me in his arms and we swayed to that song…I don't think I've ever been happier in my entire life. 

It had begun to rain a little harder when Chris pulled the car up in front of my building. The date had been incredible. We had danced, eaten, laughed, and talked until he finally glanced at his watch and announced that it was probably best to head back. Neither of us had said anything in a while. I was certain both of us were thinking the same thing. Neither of us wanted the night to end and both of us knew someone was waiting for me at home.

"I must be insane," Chris sighed at long last, his hands still gripped the steering wheel and his eyes, looking grey in the dark, glared straight ahead. "What guy in their right mind brings their date home for another guy to fuck?" I was half relieved he'd said it out loud and half angry that he'd brought it up at all.

"I don't have feelings for him, you know that right?" I asked slowly, my hands still folded on my lap even though I wanted to run them through his hair and down over the soft grey cotton of his shirt. "Well, I do but… it's different. Different than us, Chris."  He looked over at me and I could tell that he was struggling with this. I was too, but I had made a promise.

"Yeah," he breathed and as I watched, he exhaled hard, trying his best to smile and not look worried but I could see it in his eyes. He really didn't like this.

Reaching up, I ran my fingertips over the stubble of his jaw and when my thumb traced along his bottom lip he sucked my thumb into his mouth. I watched it disappear and bit down on my own bottom lip. His gaze smouldered as it held mine and that was it, my panties disintegrated.

"I want you," I whispered and he smiled around my thumb.  

"I waw wu woo," he replied, his voice muffled by my thumb. I giggled and he bit down gently then let it slip free. "C'mere," he whispered and put the car in park. It wasn't easy, but as he leaned the driver's seat back, I climbed over the gearshift and settled myself astride his lap. "Jesus fuck woman you're going to be the fucking death of me," he murmured, reaching up to dig his fingers into my hair.

"But what a way to go," I whispered back and then lowered my mouth to his. His lips moved gently against mine and then his tongue swept over my lips and I gladly allowed him entrance. My tongue wrapped around his and I felt more than heard him groan, a sort of rumbling in his chest that vibrated right down between my thighs.

"Oh fuck baby," he whispered as he drew his lips from mine and moved them along my jaw and then down my throat. I arched my neck and as if he could read my mind he traced the line of my pulse right down to my collarbone and up again, tugging at my earring with his teeth before eagerly demanding the press my mouth again over his.

It was my turn to moan as his hands slid down my back and got a good grip on my ass, pulling me down hard onto him as he ground up against me. He was definitely not trying to hide how much he wanted me and I wondered if I could really hold out like I'd promised Ryan I would. All I wanted right at that second was for Chris to rip my panties off and take me right there in the front seat of his car.

I felt like I was sixteen again; urgently dry humping the wide receiver in the back seat of his mom's Volvo. It was kind of exciting and naughty and unlike that sixteen year old, I knew that I would, if he asked, gladly go all the way. It was a good thing that Chris was determined to be a gentleman.

"You'd better go in," he whispered in my ear as I was tugging at the hem of his shirt so I could get at his belt buckle. I groaned out loud, pressed my forehead to his and sulked. "Special, remember?" he chuckled breathlessly, reaching up to push my hair back from my cheek. I stuck my bottom lip out even further. "I want to bite that," he grinned up at me, gnashing his teeth playfully.

"Ryan can sleep on the couch," I decided. Chris shook his head.

"That's not special," he repeated and then offered his lips for a long, sweet kiss that made all the muscles south of my belly button clench. "Soon baby," he whispered against my lips. I smiled at him and thought it would never be soon enough. "But you really should go inside now or I'll lose my gentleman card." I wanted to ask him to chuck his gentleman card but bit my lip and nodded. He reached down and pushed the door open. I slid off his lap and out into the cold drizzle.

"Thanks for an amazing night," I told him sincerely. He smiled up at me, that Higgy smile that made all the women in the arena press their thighs together and moan out loud.

"No, thank you," he insisted. With a sigh I turned toward the entry lobby doors. "Babe, do me a favour?" I glanced back with my hand in my purse digging for my keys.

"Yeah?" I called back.

"When you fuck him…just…remember that, okay?" I nodded, knowing I would and blew him a kiss. He feigned catching it, opening the front of his pants and dropping it down. Rolling my eyes but grinning hugely, I ran into the building just as it started to pour. 

"Fuckin' about fuckin' time." I wasn't even in the door when Ryan pounced on me like a starving man on a piece of bread. He shoved the door the rest of the way closed with one hand and with the other he spun me and pressed me back against it. "Did he make you hot?" he whispered, his voice deep with barely checked desire. I nodded. I knew I still had this silly schoolgirl grin on my face but it was disappearing quickly as Ryan grabbed hold of the skirt of the dress and began to bunch it up and push it northwards. "Did you want to fuck him?" he asked, burying his face in the curve of my neck.

I closed my eyes. Chris's mouth had just been there and I waited to feel …what… negative, indifferent, maybe even disinterested? Instead, as Ryan dragged his teeth up my neck and bit down on the tip of my ear just enough for me to drag a ragged breath in between my teeth, I felt a burning desire to be fucked, right there, right then, up against the door. Not make love, which I now knew I wanted to do with Chris. I recognized the difference. No, right that minute I definitely did not want sweetness and flowers and Barry Manilow. I wanted to be fucked, hard and fast to quench the desire that was pooling, warm and wet between my thighs. I wanted carnal. I wanted mind blowing, scratching, biting, hair pulling sex to satiate the unquenched weak-kneed state Chris had left me in.

"Fuck me," I begged and Ryan growled in response, one hand pulling my hair so he could feast on my mouth, the other shoving my panties down so he could do as I'd asked. I felt his hand there, his fingers questing between my folds to see if I was ready. I groaned my impatience and pressed down on his hand, practically forcing him to shove his fingers up inside me. It wasn't enough but it was something. Finally there was sensation in the area that had been neglected, deprived all evening. I moaned like a cheap whore into Ryan's mouth and he growled like a junkyard dog.

Letting go of my hair he easily lifted me off of my feet and helped me wrap my legs around his waist. He shoved himself inside of me all in one thrust and I cried out for him, for the sensation of being filled, of having what I wanted.

"Did you want his cock in your pussy?" Ryan snarled against my neck. I gasped. Well, yes, I still did but this was good, soooo good. "God you're fucking soaked. Does he know how wet he made you?" I shook my head, unable to form words as Ryan used his upper body strength to lift me and then bring me down hard on the full length of his cock.

"More," I moaned. Ryan grimaced at me, his face straining from the effort of his thrusts.

"You want me to fuck your hot little box harder baby?" he asked, his hips moving against mine. I nodded emphatically, biting down on my bottom lip to stifle a whimper. I wanted it harder and faster and now.

"Please," I sobbed, "please Ryan."

With a growl that was part pleasure and part frustration Ryan lifted me off of him and onto my feet, spinning me so that I faced away from him. With one tug he pulled the zipper down on my dress and then it fell in a pool of black chiffon around my feet leaving me in nothing but my heels.

"Fuck I love your ass," Ryan groaned in my ear and then laid a hearty smack across my bare buttocks. I yelped, but not in pain. It stung, but it felt amazing. "Go put your hands on the window and spread your feet," he ordered. I did as I was told without a single syllable of argument. I walked across the living room, spread my hands and fingers out on the cool glass of the patio doors that overlooked the inlet and slid my feet apart. "Mmm, yes I love your tight little ass," he repeated, swatting it again. I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead to the glass. "I love your wet little beaver more," he added, sliding his fingers down into my cleft and then up inside of me. With his other hand he reached around and cupped one breast, running his thumb over the hard, almost painfully hard nipple. "Do you think he's still down there? Maybe he can watch me fuck your tight little cunt?" I gasped and shook my head. I hoped not. God I was such a happy whore.

"Jesus Ryan, shut the fuck up," I hissed at him. Normally I appreciated his dirty talk but right then I didn't have the patience for it. "Fuck me already," I ordered and had my ass slapped once more for the trouble. I felt him gather a handful of my hair and hissed at him when he pulled my head back.

"Oh I'll fuck you and you're gonna scream my name, do you hear me?" he growled back at me. I smiled at him and licked my lips.

"We'll see," I replied mischievously.

"Oh we will," he promised and then, with one hand on my hip and the other fisted in my hair he shoved his cock so deep into me, I felt like it was going to come out of my throat. I yelped. "Do you like my cock inside of you?" he asked, holding absolutely still.

"Uh huh," I replied, my head falling back onto his shoulder.

"Like this?" he whispered, and did it again, filling me completely, once, twice, three more times.

"Uhhhhh yesssss," I hissed.

"Lean forward, hands on the window," he ordered. I bent over, my ass in the air, as he positioned himself behind me. "I am going to fuck you hard Pen," he promised, running the palms of his hands over my ass before bringing one hand up and then down with a hard, open handed slap that made my entire body tingle and the walls of my pussy clamp down hard enough on his dick that he swore. "Oh yeah baby like that," he moaned. He slapped my ass again and I felt it, that clenching low in my gut, that sort of fluttering in my stomach. I was close.

"Fuuuuuck me," I begged pushing my hips back against him. He groaned but did as I asked. With his hands on my waist he brought his hips back so that the tip of his cock was barely in me and then he thrust them forward until he bottomed out. I gasped, tipping my head back. "Oh yeah Ry, like that," I moaned as he did it again, and again, faster and faster until I could barely stand, my legs liquefying beneath me as the meaty sound of our bodies meeting mixed with my cries and his groans. "Harder," I panted, getting those stars in front of my eyes. I was right there, so close.

"Yeah, you like that baby? You like me fucking you like that?" his voice sounded as wrecked as I would be later the way he was ramming into me. I couldn't answer any more. It was beyond my ability to speak. "You're so close baby. Give it to me, baby, cum all over my cock," he panted, not missing a thrust, not slowing down as he reached around me and pressed two fingers over my clit. I tilted my head back and came, screaming his name to the entire city. 

Despite the workout Kess had put me through and the drain of the excitement of day leading up to The Date, I had a bitch of a time getting to sleep. My mind was calm but for some reason I just couldn't seem to drift off.

Ryan had eventually settled long enough to fall into the sleep of the dead and I was relieved to see him at ease for the first time in too damned long. Still, I was careful not to disturb him as I slipped out of bed and padded barefoot downstairs to the kitchen, hoping a cup of tea would lull in the direction of dreamland.

Sitting at the island, I scrolled through my phone, reading the texts I had missed throughout evening and waited for my tea to steep.

CaptainHank: Dice & Ice on Thursday. Up 4 it?

Hm. That wasn't a typical Specialist's event so I'd have to give it some thought. It warmed my insides to be included though.

HammerTime02: Sarah wants 2 talk 2 u about something. I'm man enuf 2 admit I'm scared & turned on. Call me.

Sarah H. 2+: Hi Penny, hoping you have a moment to chat soon. We'd love to have you over for dinner soon if you're available. Let me know. J

That was something I had to respond to pronto. The woman made the best pot roast I'd ever had. Dinner? Hell yes.

PattyCakeKaner88: ur fukin hottt.

Charming. I really should have been more careful with passing out my digits in Ottawa. So far I'd had several random, though often sweet, mostly hilarious, propositions in the form of casual texts from players I hadn't even spoken to.

I replied to that one regardless of the late hour, hoping to fuck with him a little.

RK17: where the fuck is ur remote control??

Gina L. 1+: Is Roberto with you?

RK17: nvmnd, found it.

Juice: Katie and the kids are abandoning me this weekend. I'm heartbroken. Wanna help me feel better?

Gina L. 1+: He better be with you, Penny. Swear to God, I'll slap him with his own dick if he's not.

Uh oh. That wasn't sounding too good.

CaptainHank: Sorry, I forgot you're having DATE NIGHT tonight! Have fun! Talk to you tomorrow.

Andrea K. 17+: you're a whore

Aaaaand… delete.

Katie B. 3+: Hey girl! Heads up, going out of town after Dice & Ice – you're coming right? – and the big baby will be lonely. Can you entertain him for me? Puh-leeeze?

Katie B 3+: Btw, Gina's on the warpath. Lou's MIA and methinks in big BIG trouble.

Yeah, there was a story there for sure. I'd have to corner Lou ASAP and get the details before I talked to Gina.

Tanger58: Skating with a hard on sucks. That's what I get for thinking about you on the ice. Give me a call one of these days, eh?

My fingers nearly started to dial on their own.

RK17: I'm boooored. Dammit, why did he have 2 pick 2NITE 2 date u? FUCK!

Yeah, well, I'd made it up to him already. Several times actually.

Higgy20: I just dropped u off at ur place. Can't stop thinking about u. Wish u were with me tonight.

Oh God. My lips stretched into the same ridiculous grin I knew I'd been wearing when I got home earlier and I instantly wanted to send him a message back but the clock on the stove advised me that waking him up at 3:30 was probably not the wisest decision.

As I'd conjured him with thoughts alone, Chris' face was suddenly staring back at me from the phone in my hand as his photo appeared on the screen indicating an incoming call.

It nearly went to voic email by the time I'd gathered my wits enough to answer the bloody thing. "Hello?"

"Hey… um… you're not – did I wake you?"

I shook my head even though he couldn't see me and stuttered out a quick, "N-no. No! I was, um, I'm awake."

On the other end he seemed to hesitate a little. "Is this a bad time then? Are you… busy?"

I guess it was a legitimate concern since he knew I had company for the night but part of me wanted to laugh. "Do you think I'd answer the phone if I was… busy?"

"No," he laughed lightly and I could imagine the sheepish grin on his face. "I guess not. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," I said, fingering the rim of my cup. "Just, I don't know. I can't sleep."

"Neither can I," he said softly. "Too much on my mind, I guess."

Shifting on the stool, I tucked one leg under myself and settled in, lifting my cup to sip delicately. "Anything you care to share? I'm a pretty wicked listener if I do say so myself."

"Hmm, you really want to hear me talk about the fact that I practically wore a path in the floor trying not to imagine all the ways one of my closest friends was pounding you through the mattress, Penny?"

The mug in my hand bobbled and scalding hot liquid sloshed onto the counter top in front of me. "Um… what?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure my neighbors downstairs began cursing me to hell right about the time I decided that I could distract myself by moving all of my furniture. That worked until I began picturing you on your knees, letting him fuck your mouth while he watched your reflection in the window. I switched to jumping rope then." Chris chuckled darkly, the sound rumbling out of him and through the connection as clear as if he'd been sitting beside me. "Then all I could think of was Kess using a rope to bind your hands to the headboard and riding your ass from behind, with your legs pressed together screaming into the pillow. It was touch and go for a while there. I wanted to use the rope to hang myself when I realized I didn't know whose name you would be screaming."

This time I nearly dropped the phone. "… I…"

"It fucking killed me to send you back to him, Pen," he whispered hoarsely.

I closed my eyes and absorbed the anguish in his voice, letting it register deep inside. This wasn't going to be easy. I'd sworn that I wasn't going to give up my work, that I wasn't going to bend to his will, to give in to his censure, but the ache driving his admission had me giving it serious consideration for a moment. "Chris…"

The silence that stretched between us was as charged as any conversation or argument we'd ever had. Despite the heartache he'd put me through and all of the horrible thoughts I'd wished upon him during that time, I didn't want him hurting. And as much as I wanted to be with him, I couldn't put him through this if it was going to wreck him like this. Was it really worth it?

"I think it is," he said quietly, making me realize I'd been thinking out loud. "And I didn't… I didn't call to tell you this to make you feel bad, I just… we promised to be honest with each other right?"

"Right," I said softly, remembering after dinner, the way he'd smiled when I extended my pinky as we swore to be truthful and up front with our feelings from now on. He'd accepted the challenge and sealed it with a sweet, simple kiss that had nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"Well, this is me being honest. Tonight, being without you, knowing you were with someone else was absolute fucking hell… but… I meant what I said, Penny. I'd rather have you this way than not have you at all. It is worth it. You're worth it. To me."

Ah hell, that definitely brought out the waterworks. I sat there, eyes swimming, and wondered if I could wish hard enough to make him appear out of thin air to hold me right then. So far, my wish to reality ratio was pretty impressive.

"Anyway," he exhaled hard and his tone seemed lighter, as if he'd released a weight with his admission, "I just wanted to share that with you. I figured if I could make it through tonight without losing my mind or hunting down every man who ever touched you to carve them up with my skate blades, then we've got a good chance here. I wanted to let you know that regardless of what you did with him, what he did to you, whatever – I want you just as much as I did before, nothing has changed. Okay?"

Nodding like an idiot, I felt my lips start to curl again. "Okay."

"Okay," he laughed. "Think you can get to sleep now?"

"Yeah," I was more than a little surprised to realize how suddenly tired I was. "Chris… I… I wish you were here."

He groaned on the other end of the phone and I felt it to my toes. "Baby, you have no idea how bad I wish the same."

"Maybe…" I thought about Kess fast asleep upstairs and bit my lip, wondering if I could make the trip to Chris' and back before he woke up. I didn't want him to wake up alone, though. Ryan had been going through hell of his own and deserved the attention I had promised him.

"How's he doing?"

"Rough," I said, knowing that Chris was genuinely concerned about his friend. "I thought it was me, y'know? That she was just angry about the fact that he cares about me and, um, visits and stuff."

"No," he said firmly. "No matter what I may have insinuated before, this thing between them was going on before you got here, babe. She's a piece of work. I know he's not exactly a ray of sunshine to live with but everyone knows this shit with Andrea is ripping him up inside. It's good that he…" his cut himself off abruptly and then swore before laughing lightly again. He cleared his throat. "It's good that he has you, Penny. And he needs you. I guess they all do in different ways, eh?"

I couldn't believe my ears. I wondered for a moment if I hadn't actually fallen asleep and was dreaming the whole conversation. This was surreal. "I don't know what to say right now."

"Say goodnight," he whispered. "Go be there for him but be sure to get some sleep. I'm going to try and knock myself unconscious and forget that I just sent you back into his arms."

I smiled at that and slid off of the stool, leaving the mess of spilled tea behind to deal with in the morning. "You're a good man Charlie Brown."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll see you at practice?"

"Uh huh," I switched off the light and started up the stairs. "Want to grab lunch or something? If you're not busy, I mean? We don't have to."

"Lunch sounds good."

"Okay," I felt like I was back in high school, giddy over the idea of sitting at the quarterback's table in the cafeteria. "I'll see you there."

"Okay," he yawned. "Good night, Baby."

"Night, Christopher."

"Oh! One more thing," he said slyly.

"Yesssss?"

"When you finally do close your eyes, be sure to dream of me."

As if I could do anything else.

Chapter 12

With the continued assistance of The Mere, I present the next chapter

It had been a long, intense, but thoroughly enjoyable trip to Ottawa but now that we were back on the west coast, I was very ready to crawl into my bed and sleep for a long, long time. 

Except, apparently, the universe had other plans for my tired ass. 

I dropped my bags as soon as I stepped inside the front door to the condo and reached out to flip on the lights but someone else beat me to it. A lamp switched on in the living room, just about giving me a coronary. 

"Jesus Christ on a pogo stick!" I shouted, clutching a hand to my chest. Chris stared at me in the dim light but didn't move from where he was currently taking up real estate on my sectional. "What the fuck are you doing here sitting in the dark? No, wait, what the fuck are you doing here full fucking stop and the fuck did you get in?!"

With his elbows propped on his knees, he shrugged. "I kinda dozed off. Didn't even realize how dark it had gotten."

That didn't explain how he'd gotten in and I guess I'd already guessed at the why. Beneath my hand, my heart finally started to slow a bit once my brain had registered that I was not actually in danger of being killed by an intruder. Of course I didn't expect my pulse to stay relaxed for long since, really, it was impossible not to recognize Chris as a threat of some sort. Taking a deep breath, I leaned down and yanked off my ankle boots, tossing them toward the entry closet. "It's late. I'm tired, and you've probably just got off the plane from Hawaii so you should be too so whatever this," I gestured vaguely between us, " is supposed to be, it should probably wait for another time or…or I'm probably going to say something I'll regret."

Chris didn't move but his eyes swept over me, from my lazy ponytail to the toes of my sunshine yellow socks peeking out from beneath the hems of my jeans. The constant hell of caring about him and the torment of being continually questioned about the nature of our relationship, never mind the fact that we weren't actually having a relationship... the whole shebang was just too emotionally draining and I was already on the verge of cracking - I really didn't have it in me to go another ten rounds. 

"Chris," I pleaded quietly, pressing my fingertips against my temples, "Please, I'm fucking begging here, just...not tonight, okay?" I could feel the sting of tears building in my eyes and knew I was seconds from an exhausted meltdown. I really didn't want him there when it happened. "I'm sure you have a fabulous monologue prepared explaining all the ways I've taken whoring to a whole new level but I really just can't do this right now. Give me a few days and then I'll be better prepared to handle whatever you have to throw at me. But just... not right now."

It pissed me off to have to beg, to let him know that he really and truly had the upper hand here and that he could easily do significant damage with very little effort on his part in the shape I was currently in. I looked over to where he was still watching me like he was expecting me to sprout a disco ball and a brass pole and sighed. There really is nothing quite like having the man that holds your heart in the palm of his hands look at you like you're the Whore of Babylon.

"Did you know…when you went to with them, did you know you were going to sleep with…someone else?" So he was going to ignore my plea. I don't know why I was disappointed but I had to fight to hold back a scream of sheer frustration as I dragged my ass to the wingback chair across from him and dropped into it.

"Do you ever get bored of judging people?" I asked, feeling tired and irritated as I stared him down. His blue eyes opened a little wider. So I'd surprised him with that one. Well I guess that was one point for me.

"How could you just…give yourself to a complete stranger?" he replied, ignoring my question. Smirking, I dramatically rolled my eyes.

"Actually it was a treat and kind of educational.  It's amazing how some things translate despite a language barrier. But I guess 'yes', 'harder', and 'don't stop' are pretty much universal." I countered, tilting my head to one side and waiting for his answer. It wasn't my imagination. He blanched and then clenched his teeth. I was too tired to be intimidated. I was too tired to even care how this went down. I wasn't the one who'd asked for this fight.

"Our guys…that's one thing but…I can't believe Hank pimped you out like that!" he growled. I dropped my head into my hands. He still didn't get it and I was tired of trying to explain it to him.

"You know what? Sex is fun, maybe you should try it some time. I mean not with me, obviously because I'm the worst person in the entire world according to you but…you know, maybe you wouldn't be so fucking uptight if you would just get your rocks off once in a fucking while." God it sounded so loud when I said it and then it got so quiet; the kind of quiet that was heavy and so, so quiet.

"It's supposed to mean something," he hissed at me like I was the misbehaving child at church, like what he wanted to do was smack my impudent face. I stared back at him and for a single, shining moment I tried to ignore that little voice in the back of my head that was telling me to let him have it, and then I didn't.

"Did it mean something with that puck in Boston?" If I'd thought it was quiet before it got empty museum quiet then as he stared at me like I'd actually just stuck a knife in his gut. I felt like I had. I felt like I could feel his blood pouring over my hand.

Well good, I thought, staring back at him, he'd been hurting me enough.

"I came here to talk about us," he said quietly and then turned his face away so it fell back into the shadows.

"Us?" I snickered. It was just so absurd. "There is no us, you've made that abundantly clear."

"You won't do the one thing…," he began but I held up my hand. I couldn't listen to this argument any more.

That's when Kris Letang's words came back to me. 

"I don't think I could be satisfied with just one man Chris. I'm sorry if that doesn't fit into the unicorn rainbow world you live in but…I like sex, a lot and I'm not going to apologize to you or anyone else for enjoying it. I wish you'd accept that they way you accept Kess for having crazy hair or…or Burr for telling lame jokes." I looked up at him, a kernel of hope deep in my gut making me expect to see the truth of what I'd just said dawning on his face but, predictably, he frowned and shook his head.

"That's not the same at all. It's not like having a big nose or something, you get paid to sleep around!" he snarled, exasperation clear in his tone. I just shrugged.

"I do and I enjoy it and I'm done apologizing for that. I like having sex and I know, in here," I continued, holding my hand over my heart, "that if you and I could get beyond this bullshit that what we would have between us would be different and I could prove to you that I can have more than just sex but I'm not gonna beg you to sleep with me Chris. This is your problem, it's not mine. Now, I'm exhausted and I'm going to bed so either you come with me or you go home but either way, this conversation is over." I wearily pushed myself to my feet and stumbled as I got upright. I didn't see him move but Chris caught me when I swayed and I blinked up into his furious gaze. "Jeezus Chris, whatryagonnado, hit me?" I asked, realizing in that moment that it would almost be a relief if he did. At least then, I told myself as I stared back into his eyes that always struck me as being the colour of deep ocean pools, I could get over him.

"Do you know how hard this is for me?" he hissed at me as his thick fingers dug into my upper arms. I smirked at him sleepily and shook my head.

"I guess kind of as hard as it is for me to have you look at me like I'm something you've just scraped off the bottom of your shoe." He blinked and some of the rage leaked out of his eyes. "Kind of like knowing that you like me and hate me at the same time," I continued, feeling that familiar ball of emotion rising up in my throat, threatening to choke me. Slowly I felt his fingers stop digging into my flesh and then, haltingly, he lifted one hand to cradle my cheek. I gritted my teeth. Part of me wanted to sob like a baby at the tenderness of his touch and the sudden change in his expression but the other part, the bigger part of my brain screamed at me not to believe it, that it would only last a minute and then he'd be back to calling me a slut and worse.

Except that he didn't. While the pad of his thumb gently stroked my cheek he cursed quietly.

"I don't hate you," he whispered, as if he was also having trouble forcing his voice around his own tangle of emotion. "I want to hate you," he added even more quietly as he reached up and slowly tugged the elastic from my ponytail. I refused to groan out loud, even though that was my gut reaction. I forced myself to keep my eyes open, not close them and lean into his hand as he raked it gently through my hair.

"I'm too tired for games Chris," I muttered, clinging to my anger like a life raft. I stared at him, into those afternoon sun blue eyes and dared him to say one more thing about my being a whore and I was going to gladly slap his handsome face.

"Me too," he replied softly and then, before I could properly process what he was doing, he dropped his hand from hair to the small of my back, pulled me against him and kissed me, hard.

The angel on one shoulder broke out her pom-poms and danced a jig while the devil on my other shoulder stuck out her tongue and called bullshit on the whole proceedings. I fell somewhere in the middle, between wanting to dig my fingers into his coarse sandy blonde hair and wrap my legs around his waist and wanting to push him away and tell him to leave. My body had already surrendered but I still didn't trust him.

"Stop," I breathed, managing to push him away, just enough to get some air. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" One corner of his mouth curled into a smile. My legs turned into limp spaghetti noodles as he stroked the back of my neck with his fingers. I bit my bottom lip hard enough that I tasted blood.

"So you're allowed to fuck all my teammates and guys on other teams but I can't even kiss you?" he asked a little breathlessly, smirking at me like I was the one that had done something funny. I frowned at him.

"I'm getting whiplash from your mood swings. You should see someone for that. I think you can get some medication," I pointed out. His gaze stayed locked on my mouth.

"Damn it woman, do you have to have a smart come back for everything?" he grated out, leaning in so that his lips were almost brushing my cheek and I could feel the moist warmth of his breath on my ear. "I want to stay," he whispered. "I want to erase every single memory you have of being with another man and I know I could… but…I'm not there yet."

"Not…? What the fuck are you talking about?" I stuttered as he drew back, cradling my face in both of his big, rough, scarred hands.

"Do you have to argue about everything?" he groaned before pressing his mouth softly over mine once more in a kiss that was rather chaste but still made my toes curl. "G'night baby," he added softly, holding my gaze for one more, long moment and then he turned and left, just like that. Not another word, leaving me staring at a closed door and wondering what the in the Sam Hill had just happened. 

"Oh good," Katie patted the spot next to her on the couch in the player's lounge. "I want to hear all the gossip from the all star game." I smiled, my thoughts immediately going back to that hotel room, the dark haired Frenchman and a bowl of freshly whipped cream he'd ordered from room service.

"Well I can tell you this much, it was fun, I'd do it again," I added with a smirk and wink. Juice's wife groaned and looked envious.

"Spill it, who'd you end up with?" Joann snorted, joining us on the couch and digging her elbow playfully into my side. I batted my eyelashes at her and shook my head.

"A Specialist doesn't kiss and tell, you know the rules," I insisted.

"Fuuuck that," Gina snorted, dropping her very expensive Coach bag between her feet as she joined us. "Spill bitch," she added playfully, "unless of course it was that douche Kane in which case I don't wanna hear it."

"It wasn't," I insisted, laughing as I recalled how at breakfast the next day he'd practically begged for a turn.

"Was it Jamie Benn `cuz he's kinda cute," Johanna asked, blushing when everyone made kissing sounds at her.

"No, oh my god, you're worse than the boys," I laughed. "Okay, fine it was Kris Letang." The room fell silent in an instant and the expression on every woman's face in the room made it clear that every last one of them had thought about being in my shoes and each one of them sighed wistfully.

"Oh please tell me he was as good as I imagine he is," Katie sighed.

"And then some," I admitted. They all heaved another sigh. I shook my head and started to giggle, and then stopped.

He was standing just inside the room, already in his hockey pants and socks but with that torn half shirt he wore under his jersey, his perfectly formed abs on display. Every pair of eyes turned towards him but his gaze was on me, and me alone. He looked decidedly unhappy.

Oh hell.

Chris turned and walked back through the door to the locker room, slamming the door so hard that it left a divot in the dry wall. I stared at that divot and inexplicably felt everything below my belly button clench with desire.

"Oooh someone's not happy you got to play with the Disney Prince." I turned and blinked at Gina. Jesus Christ on a bike, did everyone know how Higgy felt but me?

"Okay, really, everyone keeps saying stuff like that but honestly..," I started to dispute it but Katie reached over and laid her hand atop one of mine.

"I was in Hawaii with him. It was Penny this and Penny that and believe me, there were some very pretty girls in teenie weenie bikinis around. Chris didn't look at any of them." I stared at her, my mouth open to argue but then I thought of the kiss and…I couldn't.

"Oh my god Lappy, Juice and Higgy in nothing but shorts?" Gina fanned herself and everyone laughed. Everyone but me. 

I sat on the edge of my seat most nights, living and dying with each shift, feeling each hit, celebrating each goal like it was the last of the season. Against the Hawks though, it felt like I couldn't breathe. Actually it was like the entire city was sitting on the edge of their seats, holding their breaths and wishing violent and bloody thoughts towards each and every player in a Chicago jersey, especially Ratface Bolland.

Schneids was amazing, like he usually was and the home fans cheered boisterously for every save he made, taunting Toews and Kane every time he made a glove save look easy. It didn't take long for Kess to put us in the lead, a wrister from the half boards that had the entire arena on their feet and howling for blood. Ryan celebrated with a cocky grin that made me shake my head and laugh.

Unfortunately it didn't take long for the Hawks to even the score when Seabrook made a beautiful saucer pass and Mayers put it over Cory's shoulder. The crowd groaned and fell silent, sullenly watching the despised Hawks celebrate.

Then Coach put Hansen and Lappy out with Chris and I was forced to bite my nails to the quick as they raced into the Hawks end and started throwing hits like Jehova Witnesses handout leaflets on a Saturday morning. I knew and most of the crowd seemed to sense that Chris wasn't exactly a hundred per cent yet and I winced every time he put a shoulder into a Hawks jersey. I waited for him to crumple. He didn't. The boys kept the Hawks pinned in their own end for the rest of the period but Crawford stood his ground and protected his crease. We went through the entire second period without either team gaining any ground.

I hadn't even returned to my seat with a slice of lukewarm pizza when the hulking Swede Stalberg opened the third with a pretty back hand that squeaked past Schneids. The crowd grumbled making their discontent known as Toews and Kane lead Stalberg down the bench, hooting and hollering like they'd won the game.

AV put the energy line back out on the ice and as they lined up to take the face off against Sharp, Hossa and BMo, Chris stood at the top of the circle and feigned checking the blade of his stick. Except he wasn't looking at his stick at all; he was looking over it and past the Hawks bench… right at me.

If I hadn't already been confused I was downright baffled now. The expression in his eyes was dark and clearly unhappy and I felt it right down into the pit of my stomach. I was certain that look had nothing to do with the loathed Hawks. I was absolutely convinced it was entirely my fault.

"What the fuck?" I muttered and slid down in my seat, wishing for a pit to open up and swallow me whole. It was too intimate an exchange. It felt like the whole crowd had turned to look at me. I even glanced up at the scoreboard to see if I was on the damned Kiss Cam or something.

The puck had barely hit the ice when Chris took a run directly at Hossa. The only way it could have been more of a suicide mission was if he'd taken a run at Keith, Seabrook or worse, that giant meathead Scott. Hossa barely flinched. Chris took the worst of the hit and ended up slumping to the ice.

I heard the squeak that came out of my mouth and immediately tried to stifle it with both of my hands. I'd seen all of our guys take and give hits and I'd experienced everything between concern and outrage before but this was different. I felt… desperately worried.

"Jesus Christ Pen, get your shit together," I muttered to myself. The middle-aged man sitting beside me with his wife glanced sideways at the crazy woman talking to herself. I grinned at him and shrugged. Well, what else could I do? I probably sounded schizophrenic.

"You know what you need to do," Gina murmured without looking up from her iPhone. I blinked at her, totally having forgotten she was sitting next to me. I hadn't paid the least bit of attention to her since the game had begun.

"What's that?" I hissed back.

"Talk to him," she suggested quietly, pulling up the now infamous "six pack" shot of Chris on her phone and flashing it at me with a wicked smile. "Because neither of you can keep pretending you don't want to jump each other." I opened my mouth to protest, even to say that I'd rather jump her husband than Chris, but Cody lined up at the top of the circle and snapped one past Crawford and the entire arena got to their feet, me right along with them.

We were tied and there was still fifteen minutes left in the third.

As soon as Danny roofed one into the back of the net, sending Crawford's water bottle flying and everyone in the arena to their feet, ending overtime, I turned and headed down the corridor. I'd spent the balance of the third period trying to decipher Chris's actions. The guy ran hot and cold like a faucet. I didn't know which end was up and more than that, I didn't know what to feel when I was near him.

Being around him was like riding a rollercoaster in the dark. I didn't know when the twists and turns were coming and half the time I didn't know which side was up and which side was down.

My body wanted him in the worst way. He barely had to touch me and I was on fire but at the same time all he had to do was look at me and I wanted to hiss, spit and claw like a cat. He could make me so angry in one minute and turn me into melted butter the next.

It had to stop.

I had a job to do and he was a distraction but worse than that, he had constantly been doing everything in his power to belittle me. I'd long since gotten past the sticks and stones part of it, but he needed to stop talking to everyone else in the league about me and start actually talking to me.

He was outside the room, out of his skates and jersey but still in full body armour standing in the hallway surrounded by reporters and cameras. I looked at his bare feet on the concrete floor and bit my bottom lip. Skater's feet, like those of ballerinas, are a mess of bruises, bunions, twisted and broken toes and yet they are delicate, sensitive things and I couldn't help but stare and, god help me, want to touch them.

"Hey sexy, you waitin' for me?" I had stopped halfway down the hall, out of range of the cameras and was leaning against the wall watching the scrum so intently I hadn't heard the door of the opposition room open. I turned to see Patrick Kane smirking at me in nothing but a towel. I rolled my eyes.

"You wish," I sighed and kept my eyes glued north of shoulders. It wasn't that he was bad to look at. It was just that I didn't want to encourage him.

"Aw c'mon, we let your guys win, the least you can do is give me a sympathy fuck," he grinned like he'd made a funny.

"That is so not in my contract," I chuckled. I'd figured out in Ottawa that Kane was pretty much harmless, mostly bark and literally no bite. I'd also been told that he was almost all show and no go in the sack, more impressed with himself than he'd ever be with the women he slept with.

"You're killing me," he exaggerated a stumble backwards, clutching his chest. I shook my head at him. He was an overgrown teenage boy. Once realized that, his antics didn't bother me.

"If you don't go back to your own room, I'll kill you."

Oh. Shit.

Pat's eyes widened and flashed with unholy amusement as he looked past me at the wall of muscle suddenly at my back.

I tensed and bristled at having him come to my rescue when I didn't need rescuing. Plus, was he insane? There were people around and his little caveman act could be on YouTube in seconds.

"Chrissss," I hissed under my breath, glaring a warning at him over my shoulder. He ignored it, his fierce gaze locked on mostly naked Kane who smirked back at him. I wanted to tell him that by reacting he would only be encouraging Patrick but I pressed my lips shut, deciding to let Chris find out for himself.

"Did she tell you how I totally rocked her world after the skills?" Patrick asked, miming holding a woman's hips and fucking her from behind. I heard a feral growl start in Chris's throat behind me.

"In your dreams," I sighed and shook my head at Pat who grinned like a jack o lantern over my shoulder at Chris. I didn't need to turn to know that Higgy would be wearing an unhappy expression. I could feel his desire to rip Kane limb from limb coming off him in waves. "It didn't happen Chris," I added more quietly.

"Oh wait, are you two really a thing?" Kane asked, stopping mid motion, his mischievous grin growing by degrees, looking first at me and then over at Chris. "Like a…," he mimed swatting a woman's ass and then fucking her, "thing?"  Chris growled again.

This was not going to end well. I turned and grabbed Chris's upper arms, pushing him with all my might. I couldn't budge him.

"He's baiting you, you fucking idiot," I hissed. Chris continued to glare death rays towards the Hawks' diminutive forward. "Jeeezus you don't even care," I spat at him, putting both of my hands flat on Chris's chest and shoving him backwards with all my might. He barely rocked back on his heels. The shove didn't get his attention but he turned a quizzical stare down at me.

"What do you mean, I don't care?" he asked, looking sincerely puzzled.

"Okay, again, you hate what I do so by extension you hate me," I began, already bored by having to say it out loud, again.

"I said I don't hate you," he replied quietly, still staring at me like I was saying and doing something that mystified him.

"Whatever. You don't approve, blah blah blah. If you actually cared about me you wouldn't be running me down all the time. And by the way, I'd sincerely appreciate it if you didn't talk about me behind my back. It's immature and offen…."

I didn't get to finish my planned speech, the one I'd come storming down to the bowels of the arena to give. One minute I was about to lecture him and the next he had my head in his hands and his mouth was crushed against mine…again.

I was taken completely by surprise and just stood there like a statue, eyes open wide as he kissed me. Of course, in the next minute, my hands were in his hair and I was kissing him back, attempting to climb him like a jungle gym. I wanted to be pressed against him, all of him, and I wanted him to press me against the nearest flat surface but instead, he broke off the kiss and pushed me away from him, keeping me there, helpless, at arms' length.

"Enough of this shit. We're going on a date, tomorrow night," he told me a little breathlessly. His face was telegraphing his emotional state as a frown laced his brows together while a small smile tugged at his mouth. "Wear something pretty," he added, curling his index finger beneath my chin and gazing down into my face like I was an amusing but disobedient child. I opened my mouth to tell him hell to the no, but all that came out was:

"Okay."

There was an extra bounce in my step when I arrived at practice the next day with my venti mocha in one hand and a copy of the Province in the other. There was a piece about the Twins in it that I was looking forward to reading.

I passed by the player's lounge, like I usually did on the mornings I swung by to watch the guys, but as I was about to call out a greeting to the training staff a bottle of water whizzed by my face and collided with the wall. I stood blinking at it, which was the only thing that saved me from getting smoked in the kisser by the BlackBerry that followed seconds later.

"Son of a fucking cunt!" I glanced down at the pieces of black plastic littering the concrete floor and then toward the source, who had murder in his eyes. Ryan.

"Bad news?" I asked quietly, taking a few tentative steps into the room.

"Something like that, fuck…sorry, I didn't hit you did I?" I shook my head and smiled at the apologetic expression on his face. "Sorry, fuck," he muttered again, roughly running his hands through his unruly hair. There were only two things I could think of that could put the usually affable Super Kess in this kind of a mood; being injured or Andrea.

"What did she do now?" I asked quietly, depositing my drink and newspaper on the closest surface. Drawing him aside, I took one of his hands in both of mine and dug my thumbs into the palm, attempting to massage out the tension I could feel there.

"Is it that obvious?" he sighed and leaned his head against the cool concrete wall.

"Well you're not limping and I don't see any bandages so…yeah," I replied lightly, if hesitantly. His wife was still a touchy subject despite the fact that Ryan pretty much shared everything with me about their volatile relationship. I was still doing my best to keep some boundaries between us, though, of all of the players, I probably had the closest relationship with Kess.

"She wants another kid," he began, his gaze riveted to the work I was doing on his hand. The shock of his words made me falter for a moment but I continued a few seconds later. "She told me this morning that she's been flushing her pills and…I'm actually not sure that we're even going to stay together so..," he looked up at me and shrugged. I knew the rest. He didn't need to say it. Andrea had her tentacles into him and wasn't about to let go, despite her best efforts at chasing him away. It was a tug of war he was tired of being in, but she was his wife and the mother of his children; his totally adorable kids who were the light of his life.

"It could be a good thing," I heard myself say then shook my head, admitting the lie.

Ryan scoffed and narrowed his eyes at me. "You've never fed me any bullshit before, Pen. Now is not the time to start."

"I know, I'm sorry," I whispered and pressed my forehead to his shoulder. He was hurting and I hated it. I hated her right then even if I could understand that she was just trying to do whatever she felt she had to. "Maybe you need some space," I said, thinking that maybe Andrea needed to go spend some time with her parents, away from him and the team and, selfishly, me. Ryan's face lit up like a neon sign in Vegas.

"Space? Yes," he nodded enthusiastically. "I need space! I could stay with you for a few days. That's brilliant!" he grinned wickedly and then, using his other arm to pull me into a one armed bear hug, almost pressed the air from my lungs.

"I…I didn't..," I stuttered, trying to think of how I could get myself out of this. I'd just agreed to a date with Chris and now we'd have a chaperone. It wasn't exactly the most romantic idea ever. "That might be kind of…awkward," I suggested quietly.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Hey, it's not like I haven't seen and heard it all, hello, I've been on the road with these guys for like…ever. And if they want you to themselves for a while it's not like I can't leave," he pointed out, leaning in and pressing his lips to my cheek. "God, I so need some space. This is perfect!" I watch him walk away feeling a bit like I've been run over by a speeding train.

"It's a good thing I didn't plan on you making me dinner," a voice whispered soft and low in my ear seconds before I felt a hand at the small of my back. I closed my eyes and leaned back slightly, revelling in the warmth of his touch.

"It is, because I would have said no," I smiled to myself as he whistled.

"Hey, I had dinner with you once," he reminded me. I wrinkled my nose as I turned around to look up at him. Damn. I was starting to wonder if he had some sort of aversion to wearing shirts. Normally it wouldn't be an issue but…

"We picked up Chinese, and I don't remember you eating anything so that doesn't count," I point out to him and tucked my hands into my back pockets. The urge to run my fingers over the tattoo on his chest and down over his abs is too much. Not to mention how badly I wanted to lick at the drop of sweat barely clinging to his chin.

"Well we'll have to remedy that," he said softly and reached up to brush my hair back over my shoulder. His gaze lingered on my neck and my pulse began to race at the thought of his lips there, his teeth grazing over my skin.

"I thought that was the plan," I murmured, wondering if my panties were literally going to combust if he got any closer to me.

"Part of it anyway," he grinned, running his finger down my jaw line and tipping my face up towards his. I held my breath, waiting for him to kiss me right there in the hallway outside the players' lounge like he did the night before… but he just nudged the tip of my nose with his own and stepped back. "See you later," he said, a secretive smile playing at the corners of his lips.

I watched him walk, or more correctly, strut down the hall and had to lean on the wall for support. When my brain started functioning correctly again, there was only one thought in my mind playing on repeat;

Goddamn that man was sexy.